The Birth of Bodhi Jaiha

By Clodia Porteous


It always seemed wrong to me that birth should take place in a hospital.  Even before coming to my eventual informed decision to plan homebirths for my children, I felt instinctively that there must be a better way… a birthing woman is not sick, and doesn’t need a “machine that goes ping” in order to do something that women have been doing for all of human history!!  I felt that birth should be a private and sacred celebration of life and love… not a preparation for disaster.

When finally preparing to conceive our first child I did plenty of research on my options and was thrilled to come across a website containing contact information for the Homebirth Network of SA.  I became a member and began to receive the regular newsletters.  In reading through the birth stories they contained, I was excited that I had found the path to the natural and empowering birth experiences I so desired.  On the back of the newsletters I found a table of contacts, including the details for independent midwives practicing in Adelaide.  When I became pregnant, I read through the list to find someone close to home… “Hahndorf… Wendy… close to home, and I think I remember reading something about her being midwife of the year??  She must know a thing or two…” I thought.

When I spoke with Wendy and when I met her I felt an instant calm.  In supporting me from week 6 of my pregnancy, providing all of my antenatal care, Wendy and I formed a very special bond built out of respect, love and trust.  I made one visit to a GP in my first trimester in order to find out my blood type, and that was the only medical process involved in the entire pregnancy and birth.  I was so thankful to have a carer who supported me in all of my choices, rather than trying to push their ideas upon me.  I did not have any ‘routine’ ultrasounds or other tests, as I trusted fully in my body and the innate processes of pregnancy and birth.  In the lead-up to and throughout my pregnancy I simply did everything within my power to ensure my baby had the best, and most natural, start in life possible.

I loved being pregnant.  Even now I still miss my big belly and the lovely kicks and squirms I felt as my little one grew.  Of course the ‘morning’ sickness was no fun, nor was the reflux and the inability to eat or drink more than a mouthful in a sitting… but these truths tend to fade with time.  I glowed.  I was happy and healthy and full with child.  Then it happened…

I had a cold, a terrible cold with a nasty cough.  People would say to me “Not long now!”  and I would say “I’ve got to get rid of this cough first!”  Ha!!  My husband, Simon was giving me a tapotement (thumping) massage to try and loosen up the mucous in my chest.  He loosened something else!  I felt a ‘leaking’ as though I needed to go to the toilet, but couldn’t stop it.  I didn’t say anything at first… how embarrassing! Was I wetting myself??  I went and sat on the loo and went to the toilet.  The leaking continued… that wasn’t it.  I came out of the bathroom and called upstairs… “Um, I’m leaking… I think my waters have broken!”  Simon rushed over to the banister and with a look of shock and amazement asked “Are you having a baby??” … as if the whole thing was news to him!  But then my response was just as hilarious “I don’t know… I have to call Wendy!”

So, standing over a towel in my sitting room at 10pm on Monday night, I called Wendy.  “Aren’t you clever!” she calmly exclaimed.  “Would you like me to bring the pool over now or wait until morning?”  There was no question in my mind.  If this baby was indeed on its way, I had to get that pool up and functional ASAP!  So over she came at around 11pm to drop off the pool and get it set up.  We were left with strict instructions to get as much sleep as we could while we could.  So off we went to bed.

By 1:30am, lying in bed was too uncomfortable.  I had to get myself up and doing something.  Mild contractions were coming and going as I pottered around the house.  By 2am I had to get Simon up to help me fill the pool… I just wasn’t settled until that was underway.  So we managed to pass the time, setting up the room with candles and our birth banner from my blessing way.  We got our camera up and took a couple of setting-up shots, both of us and even our dog Beanie (who had no idea what was going on at this ridiculous hour of night!) were brimming with excitement.

By 7am the contractions were getting quite close and uncomfortable and I had been unable to rest effectively all night.  I wanted to be in that pool!  Once there I managed to float around comfortably, resting well between milder contractions, for almost two hours.  Looking back now, that time was serenely beautiful, drifting in the freedom of the warm water while my body readied itself for what was to come.  Eventually the contractions again resumed their strength and consistency.  By 9am when Wendy arrived, labour was fully established and Bodhi’s journey into the world was underway.

During virtually the entire first stage of my labour, I was amazed with the way Wendy calmly and contentedly sat and watched and waited, going about her job with such patience.  Tania, who arrived at around 11am, pottered about quietly, refreshing the warm water in the pool, taking photos for us, fetching toothbrush & toothpaste (I had this insane need to clean my teeth in the middle of it all!), water for me to drink, peanut butter toast for me to eat, and passionberry lip gloss for my dry lips what with all that breathing through my mouth… I still had that blasted cold and could barely breathe through my nose at all!!

All three of my beautiful helpers, Simon, Wendy & Tania, took turns applying pressure to my back, cold compresses to my face and warm compresses to my exposed back.  As well as all the ‘practical’ support they were able to offer, my support team comforted me with beautiful words and emotional support when I needed them, always letting me know how well I was doing.  I am certain that this was the most significant contribution that they made to the birth, this quiet, patient strength and belief in me to do what had to be done.  The strength of my support team became all too important when I reached a point at 4:05pm, after a big contraction, where I called out “That’s enough for today!” I had honestly had enough and just wanted to go away, sleep and come back refreshed to start again tomorrow morning!  Of course, looking back at my notes I realise that this was me going through transition into the second stage of labour.  40 minutes later I began to push my baby down through the birth canal.

At around 2:30pm Simon had hopped in the pool with me for what seemed to me quite a short time, but all up was actually a substantial number of hours!  Unfortunately, with the hot water and the stuffy atmosphere of the closed up house, he was feeling a little light headed and had to go outside for a short while. He returned just in time for me to start up with some really deep guttural noises that came with “the pushing bit”… it all got a bit too much for my poor hubby... he got out of the pool again and fainted in the hallway!  Wendy and Tania dashed over to check on him – oxygen at the ready.  Another contraction began to creep in on me and I found myself having to call out “someone for me!!”  Simon took some time out and re-composed himself, but he didn’t come back in the water with me after that!

It became clear that another set of hands was going to become important, with Kalan needing attention as well as Simon’s fainting episode.  So, it was decided to call in a Doula who lived and worked nearby, Jo Bainbridge.  I heard Jo arrive, but didn’t actually get to meet her for another couple of hours – I was a bit preoccupied!!

One of the most spectacular things about our house is the paddocks that run along the side and back fences.  Contained within these paddocks on the day that Bodhi was born were cows.  Now, I did not notice it myself – I was far too introverted at the time – but when it was pointed out to me I came to notice the most spectacular thing… the cows were groaning along with me as I pushed my baby out.

To those that ask, I say that there were two ‘scary’ moments for me during Bodhi’s birth.  The first was when I felt the surge of strength through my body as the first definite push took me over.  The power that I felt scared me, knowing that my body was going to make way for this baby!  The second ‘scary’ moment was when I reached down and felt my baby’s head before it crowned.  I could feel the soft squishyness of his beautiful skin, surrounded by the hard tightness of my own.  At this point I was convinced that I was going to tear in order for my baby to make it into the world.

However, as much as these moments were ‘scary’ to me at the time, I would not take them away for all the world.  Experiencing them demonstrated to me, without question, how amazing my body is to achieve such a monumental feat, and how powerful we as women are.  Also, although these moments were ‘scary’, there was no actual fear that they were grounded in, it was just the overwhelming nature of the experience. 

In fact, the only true fear that I felt throughout the entire birth was my fear of needles that took over when Wendy told me I needed stitching!!  Because I was right, I did tear.  It was a substantial one too.  Strangely the ‘ostrich’ method (the “if I don’t think about it, it won’t happen” method) of perineal preparation for birth is none too effective in preventing tears.  I was, however, completely unaware of whether or not I had actually torn until Wendy and Tania said that it was so.  As they helped me out of the pool I had to ask “Did I tear?”

Bodhi was born at 7:40pm on Tuesday 28th March 2006.  He had been pushed down, sliding back, pushed down and sliding back for EVER!  All up the second stage of my labour lasted 2¾ hours.  Eventually one of the pushes held.  My baby finally stayed down!!  The next push came to crowning, the second the rest of his head, the next his shoulders to his trunk.  His arms came out swimming!  Wendy helped with the next push to get the rest of him out, but his feet got caught and had to be extracted one by one!  Wendy lifted this new little creature up from the water and into my arms.  Completely exhausted, I gazed in wonder.  My eyes followed along the umbilical cord, which dangled between Bodhi’s legs… “it’s a boy!” I called out to the room.

Poor Beanie was finally allowed back in the house to meet his new little brother, however, he was far too excited and had to quickly be returned to his exclusion zone.  Wendy and Tania helped me out of the pool and over to lie on the couch.  By this stage I was freezing and exhausted, all I wanted to do was cuddle up and go to sleep.  After I delivered Bodhi’s placenta, I had a large amount of blood loss, which was helped in no part by the racking cough that was still hanging around.  In the colour photos that we have immediately following the birth I am pale with quite blue lips!

Tania heated up some pumpkin soup that was in the fridge and we all had some nourishment after our long and monumental day.  A bed was set up for the new family, close by on the floor, where the pool had been such a short time before.  When I eventually made it in there and snuggled down with my new baby boy… the only way to describe it is bliss…

I have since been asked whether I would do anything any differently for future births, and the answer is most profoundly NO!  Of course there are small elements that I plan to do a bit better with, such as perineal preparation, and I would hope that my husband won’t faint on me again… being vegetarian I will work to keep my iron levels high during pregnancy, so that if I loose blood again I won’t be as badly affected in the following weeks, and most of all I will try to avoid coming down with a cold and cough during my final trimester!!  However, being able to birth my baby in my space and my time, with my own hand&heart-picked support team was surely the only way I would want to ever journey through birth, and my only recommendation to other birthing mothers.