The 21st Century Tribe as a Family Support Network

By Lynne H. De Weaver

In order to understand the relevance of the Tribe in the 21st Century it first has to be put into a personal context. Throughout history, people have lived together in extended families or Tribes. Tribes were able to meet the ‘hierarchy of human needs’ in a relatively safe and supportive environment. However, due to the breakdown in these types of support networks in countries like Australia, the USA, UK and NZ over the past few decades, these needs are no longer being fully met. Many of us now live on our own, away from families and in a much more impersonal environment. We no longer enjoy the support and comfort that these networks can and do provide.

Many of our higher level needs in this hierarchy go unmet as we struggle to achieve personal growth and attain our goals in an increasingly impersonal world. This is especially true for parents of young children and it has profound implications for them. All too often “single issues” such as how long a mother will continue to breast feed, the family bed, the selection of the right play group or preschool are seen as “the pivotal developmental” issues of early childhood. However, by focusing on this type of “single issue”, parents often lose sight of the overarching needs that can be met when their child interacts with other generations in a caring and supportive manner. So while a genetically based extended family complete with four grandparents, numerous aunts, uncles and cousins might not be available, a 21st Century tribe can be created to fill this critical void and help meet a child’s hierarchy of needs.

How this hierarchy of needs works

Abraham H. Maslow explained the physiological and psychological implications of this “hierarchy of needs” in the 1960s. Maslow’s work clearly illustrates that each of us has “basic biological and security” needs as well as “social and esteem” needs that must be met if we are to grow, prosper and fulfil our potential as happy, healthy human beings. However, in order to grow and prosper as individuals, all of our needs must be met, not just the basic ones supplied by providing food, water and shelter. If we look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as a pyramid, these basic needs form its base. While higher level needs are for such things as love, affection and a sense of belonging and they form the higher tiers of the pyramid. They encompass our “esteem or ego” needs. These needs refer to such things as our self-respect as well as receiving respect from others. At the pinnacle of this pyramid is self-actualisation or fulfillment. It is only when we reach this peak, and all our own hierarchy of needs have been met, that we can finally become all we are capable of being.

However, it is almost impossible to reach this pinnacle without the support, guidance and love of others.  But, in this day and age, when extended families are virtually non-existent, and the nuclear family is under threat, the importance and value of belonging to a Tribe must be re-evaluated. More importantly, the role of the Tribe in the 21st Century must be redefined so that we all can achieve our own personal, parental and professional goals. So while you cannot create a larger family structure for your children where none exists, you can create your own personal Tribe – one that can help and support you in everything you do. Such a Tribe can help both you and your child achieve all your goals. It can also help you and your children enjoy a richer, fuller, more meaningful life.

Future articles in this series will provide information and guidance on how to go about creating your own 21st Century Tribe.

This article is the first in a series by Lynne H De Weaver, B.A., Dip. Ed. – Early Childhood, M.S. Education – Early Childhood. It is an excerpt from the book, “The Tribal Connection” that she is currently writing with her son Christopher, which was to be published in 2002. All rights reserved.