Tahlia, A Birth Story

The night before giving birth to our daughter stayed up with my mum and husband Greg and watched Memoirs of a Geisha, interestingly about the plight of under- privileged girls in Japan, thinking how lucky our soon to be born daughter was to be born in Australia in this age. We stayed up until 11 pm, despite saying to them" I'll be cross with you if I go into labour tonight, you've kept me up!",  and I felt compelled to replace a few final things in my labour and hospital bags, so eventually I got to bed at 12 midnight. 

I was woken after a good six hours sleep to a familiar sensation- it was the same as the start of my birth with Abi, our first born who is now 4 years old. Too excited to stay in bed, I got up and got dressed, and pottered around the house. By 7 am I had two more contractions and felt it was time to wake Greg.  He was physically out of bed before he quite knew where he was – the excitement was contagious.  I wanted to go for a walk to keep things moving so I woke Mum and let her know what we were doing and where we were going.

We slowly wondered on down Beaufort Street, a busy well know road in Perth, about 1.5 kms to the only café open early on a Saturday morning. The whole experience was a bit surreal and had to answer the inevitable question by a inquisitive café worker who asked " When are you due?" As soon as I answered" I'm in labour now so sometime today I hope!" it was very entertaining watching and hearing the other patron's sitting around us as they reacted and stared.

I managed to eat half a piece of toast casually while Greg calmly drank his coffee and read the paper. I had just said " It seems to have slowed down" when all of a sudden there I was clutching the table and breathing as quietly as possible could on a rather intense sensation, for the sake of not scaring off the other patrons! With that we decided to head back up Beaufort street only this time the journey back was a lot slower that's for sure. One thing I new at the back of my mind is that Greg promised to run home and get the car if I really needed to be driven.  As it turned out I managed really well, holding onto Greg for couple of stronger contractions I had on the way back. 

At one point I remember him asking how I was feeling, and him saying " because if I were you right now, I'd be sh…ing myself!!"  I wasn't at all feeling this way. I really felt empowered to face what was to come and most of all, I was really ready to meet our little girl. Nearer to home, we saw that some neighbours had a mature tree for sale which we organised to buy and made arrangements to have them drop it off in the next week- a birth present for our daughter Tahlia! The things people do when in labour!

We arrived home to find our cleaning lady had arrived so I had a full house! It was time to organise for Abi to go to Greg's mum but before she arrived to pick her up, it was lovely to spend a bit of time with her and talk to her about what was happening.  She was quietly overwhelmed by the whole thing I think but certainly didn't make a fuss leaving which I was relieved about. We decided it was at last time to call our doula, Gaby to let her know what was happening and we arranged she would come over in a few hours time.

We watched a baby settling DVD that we had been given to us the day before and as I watched I made sure I was bounced and rocked around on the fit ball to keep moving and to keep everything moving along! Gaby arrived about midday which was perfect timing as the contractions had been 15-20 mins apart and lasting for 1 minute or so.  We talked for a while and made lunch for everyone present and just relaxed. The first contraction Gaby observed she got me to relax my shoulders and stop locking my knees out as I leaned forward slightly which helped immensely as the next contraction was a lot easier to say the least.

An hour later, the contractions still hadn't begun to get any closer so Gaby suggested I take two homeopathic remedies every 15 minutes to encourage the contractions to be a little more regular. It worked!! Half an hour later they were 3 minutes apart and Gaby recommended I hop into the shower for some natural relief. Again a great suggestion as I really got into a great rhythm ( at first I knelt down in the bath with Abi's bath books under each knee and then Gaby came up with the idea of leaning over the fitball in front of me which was just bliss). The hot water hitting my lower back felt wonderful.

Gaby kept reminding me to surrender to the contractions and as I did I started to make groaning noises with each one. Meanwhile Mum was cooking in the kitchen while Greg was a slept on the couch!!. Gaby let me be apparently fielding a few questions from Mum as to when I would be going to hospital- understandably she was a bit nervous, but could tell from my groaning when the contractions came that I was getting into good established labour. After a while Gaby came in to give me water and a cool flannel for my face and always gentle words of encouragement that made all the difference.  I just felt safe to hand over to the whole process and that she would guide me through this next stage of my labour.

After a while I started to feel my ankles and feet swell from kneeling and sitting on them for an hour and a half (which had felt like 30 mins!) Gaby helped me out of the bath and I sat on the toilet for a couple of contractions but really wasn't finding it easy to manage at all after having the wonderful hot water on me which seemed to assist me in coping. Gaby suggested we head for the hospital so I could use the big bath at the hospital on the labour ward, so I got dressed and started to get some bags together. Greg was woken up and with little fuss and felt refreshed having gotten some sleep and assisted to get all the bags in the car. I was helped into the back of Gaby's Tarago where I was on all fours so I could carry on labouring. I remember smiling, waving and blowing a kiss to Mum as she waved back from the front lawn. I wanted her to know I was alright, because I was, I really was.

I remember feeling a little anxious as Greg was driving ahead of Gaby in his own car and the route to hospital seemed to take forever, then finding there was nowhere to park as the curb on one whole side of the street was being re- done!! We parked regardless on the side of the road. When I got out of the car I stopped to experience one intense and noisy contraction on the footpath, and then managed to get up the steps and into the lift to the second floor. As the doors rolled open I had another contraction at the reception (I'm just glad it wasn't the day for Ante Natal tours!!) Finally we arrived at our room. The first thing we did was ask if the tub was available, and it my sheer relief it was.

After I organised my  bags it was time for the dreaded internal check up by the midwife. "I don't want to know if it is under 6cm "I said! As I attempted to lay on my back. I found the internal examination very painful, probably mostly from being a little uptight and worrying about being in a new environment into which I hadn't felt completely settled into at this point in time. The hospital setting is not like the comfort of your own home and took some adjustment. The midwife preforming the vaginal examination said she couldn't really get a good idea and was going on in terms of dilation and was happy to leave it at that, however, I wanted to know where I was at so agreed for a second try. This time she was happy with her assessment and quietly told Gaby and Greg where I was at. I felt a bit disappointed for a moment as I wanted to be told how dilated I was if I was over 6cms and I knew that I must have been under 6cm (apparently I was only 4cm!) but I again remembered some words of wisdom Gaby had said to me which was, never to relate to the dilation number in a negative way, as every centimetre in dilation is fantastic and should be celebrated as a big achievement. With that thought I just geared myself up mentally for a bit more labour knowing I could do this.

Meanwhile, Gaby had run the tub and I got in, grateful for the immediate comfort and relief the hot water provided. Alas, it was not long lived. About 30 seconds after getting into the tub, Gaby recalls me sitting bolt upright and saying" I'm doing a wee!" "A big one!" Gaby suggested it might be my membranes breaking and sure enough, when it kept going on and on and on, she checked the water for any discolouration (absent) and suggested to me that things might speed up now! Did they ever!  The cushioning of the membranes had allowed me to labour feeling challenged but quite able to handle the discomfort. Not now!! Contractions came one on top of the other and were much stronger than before- I just remember saying on more than one occasion " I just need to let you know that I can't do this for a long time, I am REALLY NOT enjoying this!!" I think it was when Greg got in trouble for putting the cold flannel on the back of my neck not my forehead that Gaby indicated to him that I was getting close to being fully dilated and acting like a woman in true transition. 

Sure enough, the midwife was right when she had told Gaby and Greg that although I was only 4 cm dilated, I was fully effaced and ready to go.  My first feeling to push came only 45minutes after being in the tub and it scared me because I had been thinking I had a long time to go-so my initial reaction was there must be something wrong. After being reassured, I was helped out of the bath and back across the corridor and into our labour room. It was here that I got up onto the bed on my hands and knees. I went into automatic, piling pillows up under me, kneeling on all fours as I had done with my first birth- it must just be my thing! 

All I really remember of the next amazing time was Gaby's gentle instructions, the feeling of Tahlia's head first crowning and then withdrawing back up inside of me every time a contraction finished. I remembered thinking and saying please "Don't go away!"  So I pushed with even more determination when instructed to. "Nature is being kind" was the comment from the obstetrician as my contractions let me rest for 5 minutes in between. I'm going to meet my little girl soon, I thought to myself as I paused to rest and be present to the miracle of what was happening. As much as my position wasn't the easiest for the staff to see what they were doing, I never felt pressured to move which was just perfect as I found this position so comfortable.

I didn't see Tahlia being born but I heard Greg's excitement as she came out of my body. She was almost immediately placed in front of me on the bed and due the quickness and energy I had given to birth her I had no strength in my arms to pick her up. All I could do initially was stroke her and say "Hello beautiful girl, you're perfect, you're perfect!" And she was (no bias of course!) The membranes had done a wonderful job of cushioning and protecting her for most of the pregnancy and labour and looked completely blemish free and perfect.

After some time had lapsed nursed her, watching in wonder at how a baby only minutes old can suckle on the breast like they have done it all their life. My obstetrician reminded me that there was one more important thing to do and that was birth the placenta! Last time this had been a huge ordeal, nearly resulting with me having the placenta surgically removed- and I so did not want to experience that again. In contrast to my previous experience, and as with everything about this birth, it all worked out perfectly well. My placenta arrived as it should, complete, in about 5- 10 minutes after the birth of Tahlia.

Finally my labouring was done and I could sort of let go and relax, well that was the plan.  My then body went into a bit of shock, due to the speed of the delivery and I suddenly had incredible shaking of my body and chattering of my teeth for a good half and hour. To try to overcome this I had placed on me warm blankets, I drank warm tea with lots of sugar to try to lift my blood glucose up. I received reassurance from Gaby  who eased my concerns about what was happening and within an hour the shaking had passed and I was feeling on top of the world- just in time for Abi my first born and the Mums to arrive.

Finally, Tahlia was taken for a few measurements and weigh in. Soon after she returned and we had a very special family time before Abi went home to bed.

Meanwhile Gaby our doula showered and got dressed up for her night out in which she had pre organised engagement which she was able to attend due to the quickness of my labour/birth- I was so glad not to have interrupted her evening plans! Apparently she was on a natural high all night, so no drinking catch-up was needed! 

When people ask me about the birth and I respond by giving them this answer, which is I can honestly say that it was as good as I could have dreamed and wished for. I was so proud of myself, and so grateful for the opportunity to have experienced a drug free, natural birth experience, thanks mostly to the amazing support of our doula Gaby, my husband Greg and the wonderful midwife I had on the day. Having a support person meant Greg was left able to join me on the journey in his own way, knowing I was in safe hands, and even Mum said that she thought it was the most relaxed, calm space she could have imagined, and perfect for giving  birth in.

I believe women are being deterred from the joys of an intervention free birth as the fear of pain and complications leaves them doubting their own ability.  While medical assistance is vital when required, a birthing mother needs little more than trust in those around her, encouraging words, and belief in herself. A doula provided all of this for me and I will always be eternally grateful for such a special gift.

Written by a client of Gaby Targett,
Doula and author of A Labour of Love- an Australian guide to natural childbirth.