Letters in issue 4

Response to ‘Problem of Being Male’

It won’t be long now — I’m feeling pretty much together, seem to have all the bits I might need – but I have a foreboding that I’m going to be pushed out pretty soon. Any day now, in fact. Not looking forward to it much — it’s been OK here — warmth and sustenance.

But Mother has been reading the June issue of byronchild and just after she was told she’ll be having a son this time, things seemed to get a bit tense, a bit apprehensive.. But I understand – and, hell! — I’m not happy either.
 Being ‘not quite of this world’, not trained — or constrained — in worldly ways but very receptive and knowing, I know what is in that magazine on the side table — and it scares and depresses me.

Page 28 that headline, ‘The Problem of Being Male’! I am male, there is nowt I can do about it, but just ‘being male’ is a problem. Not even doing male things, male good things or male bad things, Just ‘being’ is a problem for us males.
Then it goes on, ‘Men’s genetic inheritance is no longer relevant’. What can I do about my genetic inheritance? Yeah, I know there is genetic engineering now but what do I need to engineer my inheritance into – tell me that? I am male, that is a problem, but now all I’ve inherited — without my asking  — is not relevant! I just don’t know what to do about it. Same as I won’t, know what to do about being ‘looked at as (a) wife-beating, axe-murdering paedophile’.
I’m not looking forward to this next world at all. I’m male — a problem in itself — my genetic inheritance is irrelevant, but what of the future?

‘The future is bleak unless masculinity can re-invent itself’. Hell, what does that mean? Masculinity has never invented anything — only exists as a mental construct — how can it invent anything let alone a new version of itself?
Shit, here come the contractions, I’ll hold on as long as I can. I don’t want to be born. That birth canal journey is horrendous — but the life journey sounds worse.

Doc, just don’t tie my umbilical, just set me out on the ski slopes — just anywhere on Kosciusko — I don’t want to know about this life business.

A would-be gentleman
Bangalow, NSW Australia


Sexual Abuse
Congratulations on your article on sexual abuse (June 02).
I am an older midwife with 30 years’ experience in birthing, mother of adult children, birth mother and grandmother.
I have seen cases where child abuse has been hidden and becomes apparent at birth and/or with breastfeeding.
Your stories are well documented and I enjoyed reading them.
Keep up the great work,
 
Marie Perry
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Authority
I would like to congratulate you on your Sept – Nov. issue of byronchild.

I stand up and cheer your ‘Redefining Authority’ editorial.

As a former primary school teacher, mother and grandmother, I feel I can speak with some experience. How refreshing to read your ‘back to basics’ opinions. My generation is not ‘old fashioned’ after all!

Good parenting is based on loads of love and GOOD BASIC COMMON SENSE. Being ‘warmly strict’ gives   children the limits to feel safe and cherished. Hooray for your ‘new’ thinking with ‘old’ values. A good ‘No’ can sometimes mean the gift of a   wonderful ‘Yes!’

On a final note, my husband has a thirty-year-old son with Down’s (Up’s?) Syndrome and I am Tony’s step-mum. He is always asking; ‘Are you alright Pete?’ and gives me a pat on the shoulder. Friendship doesn’t come much better than that. He fulfils my special needs and I benefit from his. Cheers to Rae Spatt too.
  
Peta Stockdale
Knutsford, Cheshire, England


Love Letters
Have just finished reading my first issue of byronchild — it is an excellent and intelligent journal. I hope you are getting circulation well beyond Byron Shire and indeed beyond Australia. 
 
David Holmes
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Great work Kali — it’s very exciting to have such a deep and clearly articulated alternative to mainstream parenting.

Love and appreciation
Sarah
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