Letters in issue 22

 
Post Natal Depression – a symptom of ill-support?

Hurrah for Robin Grille’s article on Post Natal Depression in the most recent issue of Kindred. It was affirming to read such an honest account of what first-time mothers experience before and after the birth of their first child. I am a new mum with a seven-month-old boy and found this article one of the first real discussions on PND — something that other articles I’ve read failed to capture, with their diagnostic and ‘how to beat’ instructions.

 guess you could call my experience after the birth of my son Post Natal  Depression; well at least that was what it was being labelled as, although I knew on a deeper level it was more like the rite of passage of moving from maiden into motherhood. This transition of course did not come without its venture into the underworld, where I was required to strip back everything I knew about myself — my identity and expectations of motherhood — and undergo an enormous personal transformation in order to become the mother I am today.

As a counsellor myself and a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I knew that I was going to be in for a hard time during labour and afterwards; however, I could never have anticipated the degree of pain I was to experience. I wanted to stay connected to my body in labour so I opted for no drugs; however, after two hours of pushing I allowed medical intervention to take over. In retrospect the fearful somatic blockage that had prevented me from making that last push, may have been worked through, with the right support in the labour room. Next time will be different!

Dealing with the pain in my body afterwards, placed me in a post traumatic state, something I was already predisposed to. This was exacerbated by an inability to breastfeed without experiencing sexual abuse flashbacks, and thus the image of myself as the ‘breastfeeding earth mother’ was now shattered. It took counselling and a large bout of depression to strip the illusions I had created of motherhood, and to find the real me somewhere amongst the pain and trauma. After three months (I believe the first three months post partum should be called the fourth trimester), undergoing this rite of passage, I emerged from the chrysalis, raw but grounded in the knowledge of who I was as a mother.

Around me I saw many women struggling with a similar identity crisis and trauma; however, instead of looking inside for the answers, they sought their answers in commercial mother magazines, anti-depressant drugs and projected their angst on their children. I was also amazed at the lack of resources for first-time mothers who had experienced childhood sexual abuse, and considered this a focus for me in my future work.

Having reached the seven-month anniversary of being a mother, I feel I am now going from strength to strength. It does concern me though, when I see the impact of unexpressed birth/motherhood grief and trauma on the relationships between mothers and their children and the social impact this will have in the future. I wholeheartedly agree with Robin Grille’s notion of looking at Post Natal Depression as a necessary rite of passage for mothers that encourages introspection and to seek professional help if there are unresolved issues.

By doing so, we not only utilise the healing power of one of the most miraculous experiences of our lives as women, we ensure that our children and in turn our community inherit the benefits as well.

Samantha Redlich


Author responds

Thanks to Samantha for your wonderfully openhearted and self-disclosing response to my article. Just one little thing I do need to clarify: I did not say Post Natal Depression is a natural rite of passage, far from it!

My point is that PND is an unsurprising human response to traumatic birth, the resurfacing of painful emotional memory from a mother’s own childhood (or later), or the lack of support for new families which is such a feature of modern society. This means that PND NEED NOT HAPPEN, and DOES NOT HAPPEN when mothers receive the support (emotional and physical) that they should.

In the modern world, we have so badly lost touch with human nature that we no longer even identify the kinds of support that we long for. The longing itself is buried under layers of abandonment, fear and shame. We have forgotten what to even ask for. Mothers and fathers are wounded, abandoned and let down. Depression is not an illness, the hurt is REAL, it has concrete and discernible reasons.

Grief, on the other hand, can be for some mothers a natural rite surrounding the birth of a new child. It is a life changing moment, and every hello, no matter how ecstatic, brings a goodbye (to ‘maidenhood’, as Samantha said, to a professional identity, etc). But grieving is far more alive and dynamic than depression. Depression is what happens when grieving has been squashed, mostly by an unsupportive and insensitive community. All too often, healthy grief turns into depression when people are diagnosed, given a prescription, and made to feel as if their emotions are dysfunctional and meaningless.

Robin Grille


The nuclear issue

It was with great interest I read your recent issue that covered nuclear energy. It is refreshing to see such a well-informed article with plenty of excellent resources to encourage readers to expand upon!

There is no energy technology with zero emissions, when we factor in the lifecycle of the technology: in the transport, mining and infrastructure costs of developing and manufacture any of our current technologies (solar requires the forging of metal, glass and even silicon manufacture, hydro requires concrete and huge turbines). The question is: which energy technology is renewable, creates the least emissions in its complete lifecycle and causes the least long-term impact to the planet? In that framework it is pointless recommending nuclear, the dangers of waste aside.

From a scientific analysis we should be focusing on technologies that harness the ultimate source of energy to our planet directly: the sun and the geothermal energy of the earth. This is the key to creating efficient and effective long-term solutions. In the meantime the best solution is to start by using less: it amazes me how many people don’t see this!
I would also like to comment on your editorial, which suggested that Al Gore only accomplished half the task, bringing our attention to the problem and not the perpetrators. Our media is always intent on assigning blame and responsibility to someone else, but this disempowers individuals and prevents real change from occurring. Hubert Sauper elegantly summed up his recent film on globalisation (Darwin’s Nightmare) by explaining, ‘It seems that the individual participants within a deadly system don’t have ugly faces, and for the most part, no bad intentions.

‘These people include you and me. Some of us are “only doing their job” (like flying a jumbo from A to B carrying napalm), some don’t want to know, others simply fight for survival.’  We often fail to see how our government’s attitude is a reflection of ourselves, our addiction to consumerism, fossil fuels and rapidly expanding energy consumption. We want to know that there is a rapidly expanding economy and job market, that we can have a lifestyle better than the generation before us and we have become addicted to the ‘affluenza’ that is driving our government to make decisions based on economic gain.

The challenge global change awakens in all of us is a call to authenticity in our lives. We must make radical changes to our behaviour, accept that buying local and environmentally aware products, recycling our lifestyles, living simpler with less ‘stuff’, and demanding green energy comes at a financial and material cost ... but greater social and spiritual benefits!

We live in one of the most affluent nations on the planet. If we can’t sacrifice some of our economic prosperity for the global good, who is ever going to?

Keep up the good work!

Christian King
Griffith Education student
Banora Point



I love the magazine, thanks for its creation. Regarding nuclear energy and waste: whatever the pro and cons of nuclear energy are, and the idea of nuclear power as a viable energy source for Australia is ludicrous, the problem of nuclear waste disposal should be considered a different issue I believe.There are many tonnes of nuclear waste around the world in need of safe disposal.

Australia is a socially and politically stable first-world country, but most importantly, it is also geologically stable with some of the oldest surface rocks in the world. Australia is the most logical place to build a secure long-term storage facility for nuclear waste.

It’s not a ‘nice’ idea perhaps, but the fact is we can store that waste better and safer than any other country or geographical region. We would benefit the world’s environment if we did so.

I’m not suggesting Australia should be responsible for the cost of this storage, but I doubt cost is the issue — countries with the waste could find the funds; it’s the facility they don’t have. We should build it and operate it here in Australia for the benefit of the planet.

Brett Poulsen


Author’s response

Everything you say about Australia being suitable for long-term nuclear storage seems, on the surface, quite reasonable. That is, until some questions are asked.

Such as:
• What guarantees are there that no nuclear waste transport ship or vehicle will have an accident or be attacked by terrorists? Even one disaster in 50 years means a Chernobyl-like catastrophe. Would you like your kids to live on that road?
• Will Australia be a first-world country for the next 200,000 years, and will your descendants be able to afford to repair the leaks that will, without a doubt, occur?
• Will the contractors who build these facilities still be around to make good their guarantees in 50, 100, 1000, 10,000, 50,000 years when their work is shown to be faulty, such as is happening in France after just 10 years?
• Will the inland of Australia be the desert it is now in 50,000, 100,000 years, or shall it be underwater due to either current projected global warming or some unforeseen cataclysmic event?

Please remember the time frames we are talking about here. Egypt was at its peak only 5000 years ago, yet we cannot conceive how long ago that was. Now we fantase that what the people who took us to Iraq, and are now talking about Iran, who have foisted climate change on the planet through their short-sighted and greed-centred policies, will build to house the most virulently toxic substances in existence, will ‘do the job’. Will it last the 200,000 years they promise?

The point is that there are no clear and definite positives out of nuclear power for power generation purposes. There is a reason why in the US there have been no new approvals for a nuclear power station for 23 years. It is not viable and it is too dangerous. Once that is really understood, the storage issue becomes absurd.

Also to say that those countries with nuclear waste will pay the cost of storage is a bit naive. When the leaks happen in 50, 100, 1000 or 10,000 years, and that government pleads poor or perhaps does not even exist, who will have to wear the cost of repair or contamination? Storage is a problem that 50 years of intense research and some $50 billion has not solved. It is estimated that the energy cost of storage will ultimately approach the total energy output of the nuclear industry. Cost is the issue, because if the real present and future cost is factored in, then the uranium will be left in the ground.

Alok O’Brien


Vaginal birth after caesarean (VBAC) story wanted

I have just started reading your magazine and love it! Finally I have found a parenting resource that provides the information I need to confidently follow my instincts. You do a wonderful job!

I would like to comment on an editor’s response to the letter in the March–May issue — ‘Hospital births count too’. I understand that you provide more space to home births to address an imbalance in our society as pregnancy and birth do tend to be treated as an illness. This response made me wonder if you could also address the need for accurate information on such issues as c/sections but more specifically on VBAC, which seems to be treated as an unrealistic goal for women who have needed a c/section, especially when they have had repeat c/sections. I really feel you could provide the information in the inspirational and supportive manner that is most needed to help women and families be informed enough to makes choices.

Keep up the good work you do providing many families with a community of like-minded people!

Emily Searle-Cale
email


Medications in pregnancy

Oh gosh, where do I start? Firstly, thank you so much for your enlightening magazine. I cannot tell you how much pleasure it brings to my life.

Secondly, I would like to find out if taking medications (especially those in the benzodiazipine group) during pregnancy can have any effects on the baby. In 2002 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who displayed problems with her breathing about 12 hours after she was born. I reported this to the medical staff repeatedly for the six days I was in hospital. All told me not to be silly and that there was nothing wrong with my baby (my daughter also never opened her eyes, was very cold at times and had extremely floppy limbs).

Anyway I continued to call the hospital and take her to the doctors for these problems and again was told there was nothing wrong. Seven weeks later my baby was in a coma. We were told she had up to a month to live and that there was nothing else they could do at this late stage. To cut a long story short I don’t exactly know what my angel died of but would like to know if the medication (benzo group taken from 24 to 41 weeks) I was given for a bad fall during my pregnancy may have affected the baby.

I must say I was told it had no side-effects on the unborn child and believed this advice as a first-time mum. On the up side I now have another beautiful baby girl who is 18 months old whom I believe is a product of the kindred spirit. Thank you, Kindred for just being you.

Becca

Editors note: In our initial research, we could find nothing conclusive about the direct effects of benzodiazepine on a baby during pregnancy. Should anyone have any further information on this topic, please contact Kindred and we will forward the information on to Becca.


Growing strong through difficulty

After looking back at byronchild Sept–Nov 2006 [now Kindred] and re-reading your beautifully written, ‘Happily Ever After’ article. I would like to say thank you for the butterfly story!

It is inevitable that we will have to find a new school for our children. Unfortunately we cannot afford to send our four children to the wonderful Montessori school that our two older children have been a part of. So it is with much trepidation and angst that we move to the public system.

I choose to stay at home and I am very passionate about my role. In relating this to the butterfly story I can see that I have wanted to protect my children from some of the harsh realities of the mainstream! Saving them from feeling any discomfort or pain. I want their lives to be easy and happy. I feel my feelings of fear and awkwardness that I myself felt as a child in a Catholic school.

Thank you for allowing me to see the bigger picture — to support and not suppress or cripple my little darlings’ feelings and experiences. Once again my children are able to shine a light on a part of me that needs healing. I also appreciate your honesty in these articles. Thank you.

Caroline Jelbart
Email


I found the first issue of Kindred to be fantastic!!

I enjoyed reading every page! I most of all loved the section on controlled crying. I am a social worker and am concerned about this practice, and have a blog devoted to this issue;  with information on the research regarding the different ‘techniques’ of leaving babies to cry.

I am also involved in a National Homebirth network called Joyous Birth and run a group in Albury Wodonga to provide women with support and information. www.joyousbirth.info

Bec
Albury, NSW


Dear Supporters of Birth Reform

Over the past seven years I have given my heart and soul to reforming Australia’s maternity system, with particular emphasis on women being able to choose the care of a known midwife. I have met many politicians and bureaucrats across Australia.
I have watched:
• Both the Federal and State Governments refuse assistance to private practising midwives, despite funding indemnity to medical practitioners to the tune of hundreds of millions.
• State Labor Governments be very slow or refuse to facilitate women’s choice and enable midwives to practise as they are educated and registered.
• The Federal Government bring in amendments to Medicare Item No 16400 that enables Registered Nurses Enrolled Nurses (without midwifery qualifications) and Drs (without obstetric training) to provide antenatal care to rural and remote women (a move unprecedented in health).
• While interventions escalate and women’s positive experiences (and the view of mothering) are diminished.

I hoped that a federal Labor Government would bring about major reform. I now have less hope that this will happen without considerable pressure. To date those of us that front politicians simply appeal to their good nature (despite compelling argument). We have nothing really to bargain with. I have thought long and hard about forming a political party.
Nervously I announce that I plan to register a political party called What Women Want (Australia) to contest senate seats and key marginal seats across Australia. The main aim will be to gather media attention and as much electoral support as possible in order to pressure the major parties to achieve key election promises (i.e. Medicare funding for midwives).

The Australian Electoral Commission requires 500 signed up members before a party can be registered. I ask that you look at the website and consider joining.

We only have a couple of months to get 500 members so if you are supportive, please JOIN SOON! For more information contact

Justine Caines
Founder, What Women Want (Australia) Inc


I was spanked and I am fine

I read your article, Ordinary Lives, Everyday Violence. Plain Talk about Spanking [Vol 8, Dec 2003 – Feb 2004] and I found it rather disturbing. As an adult that was spanked as a child I can honestly say I am able to have healthy, trustworthy relationships with the people in my life.

Now you could say I’m either lying, in denial, or just plain lucky, but I guess you’ll never really know. However, I feel like you are not taking into account all the ‘normal’ people out there who were spanked as children and are thriving as healthy adults.

Kami
email


Editor’s response

Thank you for your letter. It can be quite distressing and confronting to discover that the way we were handled as children hurt us in some way. What can be most disturbing is to discover that we might not ever really know exactly the cost of that treatment.

Research shows that children disciplined with shame, blame and hitting, are compromised in numerous ways. However, even our common sense tells us that hitting does not build trust — regardless of knowing what the research says. And strong clear boundaries along with firm aware discipline can happen without the use of force, which translates for the child into a healthy and trusting respect of authority (and later respecting one’s own authority).

The invitation in Kindred and its articles is to gently and without blame, inquire into the idea of what we as a society call ‘normal’ and what we perceive as ‘thriving’. And to use that inquiry, not to beat ourselves up with (or each other) but to forge a new way forward, with deeper understanding, wisdom and compassion.


How do we become Aboriginal?

Location matters. We cannot ignore our surrounds, or the people that have lived here for thousands of generations. The connection of indigenous people to the land is a gift that they can share with all others, but one which has been seriously undervalued.

The mainstream of society in Australia has, for the last two hundred years, tried very hard to distinguish itself from the Aboriginal people. This has taken on many forms. Then, as time went on, various attempts were made to bridge that gap of understanding, and of culture.
 
When I went to school, the emphasis seemed to be upon mere intellectual understanding. The idea was that attending the odd movie and writing reports on Aboriginal culture and traditions (taught by a European Australian who had read it in a book) would help to bring about harmony.

A few years ago, I came to understand that in order for there to be a real understanding between the mainstream and the disenfranchised Aboriginal population, the mainstream would have to ‘become a little bit Aboriginal’.   

But then I realised that we already are. Language was the key. There were absolutely thousands of Aboriginal words in active use in Australia, both in the language proper and in place names, and the Australian accent would not be what it is today without the influence of Aboriginal tongues.

In other words, what I realised was that I spoke an Australian English language that was partly formed out of Aboriginal languages. Over millennia it has always been the case that a conquering people take on some of the attributes of the local subjugated people. Over time they become indistinguishable.

In Australia we might start to say that there are no English here any more, only part English, part Aboriginal, part other, and thus Australian, people.

It isn’t a matter of blood, but of culture, of which language is a major aspect. Everyone who has lived in Australia for any significant time, and particularly anyone who was born here, is, culturally, part Aboriginal. The current tendency is to avoid, be ignorant of, or deny this.

The way we speak in Australia is a little bit Aboriginal.  So is the way we relate, the way we dance and sing and paint, the way we joke, the way we deal with distress and loss, the way we move over the land, the way we think.

The current challenge in Australia is for the mainstream Aussie to embrace their own part-Aboriginality, which is present in the way they are, in their culture and their very soul life. Once we begin to understand this, it has ramifications for the way we teach, learn and live.   

Sean Burke
Schoolteacher. Email